I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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