Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
