Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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