Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Holy shit dude........stairs
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
