He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
