You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
