Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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