No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
