I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
