ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
