You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
