her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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