thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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