I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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