i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
