dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
