Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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