my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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