so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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