The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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