The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
