So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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