Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How does one acquire holy water?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
