I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
