He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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