u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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