I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
