ugly people sure do ruin things
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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