the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
This is my life. Enjoy the view
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
