Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
