Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
