**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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