just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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