Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
