Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
