yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
