Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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