i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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