I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
