I understand Curling. That high.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
