How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
