He is an equal opportunity slut.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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