are you still at the devil's house?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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