Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
