When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Randomize
