This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
