I want to stick my p in your. b.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
