You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize