READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
