im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
