she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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