I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
