What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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