The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
