I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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